Drunk Cat

Drunk Cat has been on what he calls a working sabbatical since roughly the week the dishwasher flooded, and he writes exactly the way he talks at the end of a party, which is to say he starts out telling you about a holiday gift guide and somewhere around the third paragraph he’s explaining why he isn’t allowed back in the Applebee’s on Route 9, and the gift guide just sort of... never comes back.

He handles gift guides and the end of the work week, two things he has never once shown up to on time. Last spring he expensed a bottle of Fireball as “research for a piece,” and the piece, when it eventually arrived, was about lamps.