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Lets Be Brutally Honest Here…

Like and Share/Retweet to Win a Free God Damn Cat Bag

Our Prices Are Cut Rate Because You Aren’t Buying And You Aren’t Buying Because You Hate Freedom

EDIT: Thanks to everyone who participated. A winner has been chosen.

So lets beat around the bush a little: Our gorgeous and utilitarian Cat Bags have only become easier to buy since we started this gig. Our company goal is to make the process of buying cat-faced bags simple and rewarding. Buying a cat bag today is an investment in the future of the world.

Now, lets not beat around the bush: Management says we have to sell a cat bag in the next week or they’re probably going to shave us down and sell us as cut-rate Sphynxes.

The red line has to be look more like the green line or we're all screwed.

Specifically, management said:

I used to climb mountains, hang with the Kingsmen, eat dinner at home with each of YoYo Ma and Rostropovich, spend New Years Eve on the Champs Elysees, and bring the herd down from the high country in the fall. Now I have blackened tacos with Ted and Theodore.

We’re assuming that means eating blackened tacos with Ted and Theodore is comparable to eating dinner with YoYo Ma, who is least known for his invention: the yoyo, and who is most known for recording something called the Goat Rodeo Sessions with three other weirdos.

Anyway.

This all boils down to this fact:

If you Like our Facebook Page and Retweet or Share this post, you can win a Cat Bag.

Whatever you want. You want a Percy Tote Bag, you get a Percy Tote Bag. If you want a Sam Coin Bag, you get a Sam Coin Bag. Make sure to @CatBagz so we know this is happening or we’re likely going to send this free bag to some Tom, Dick, or Rostropovich (who was probably a Russian spy, but is most definitely disqualified for being dead, since we’re being honest and everything).

NOTE: This means you’re going to have to give us your mailing address if you win. JUST SAYING. Don’t make this weird on us.

Alright, so get to Tweeterin’ and Sharinin’ and Likenin’ and what have you. Put it on LinkedIn if you want your co-workers to hate you. Whatever. They gonna be all jealous when you are packing up your desk into your fancy new cat bag (we cannot be held responsible for any lost wages due to posting about cat bags on your company LinkedIn page).

THIS CONTEST ENDS NEXT FRIDAY, MAY 6TH. BE THERE OR NOT. WE ARE NOT YOUR PARENTS.

ONLY ONE PERSON WINS. MAY WHATEVER BE ALWAYS IN YOUR WHATEVER.

2 thoughts on “Lets Be Brutally Honest Here…

  1. […] There People! Theodore here. If you haven’t heard yet, we’re GIVING AWAY A FREE CAT BAG. Hopefully you’ve heard. It is big news. We actually don’t know if you’ve heard, […]

  2. […] But a Cat Bag Can Be Yours For FREE! […]

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