Chardonnay

Chardonnay is the only roommate with business cards (she ordered 5,000 of them and the phone number has a typo in it), and she would like you to know she doesn’t technically live here, she’s “consulting from the guest room,” which she has been doing since February without once chipping in for the electric.

She writes about money, mostly about how you don’t have enough of it because you aren’t hustling, sweetie, and if you want to hear about an opportunity she has a Calendly. Her esthetician says she radiates abundance, but her esthetician is also in her downline, so, you know, grain of salt. Don’t tell Chardonnay we said that.