Pre-Owned Jorts and JNCO Shorts
Step back in time with me. I want you to close down your eyes and open up your ears. I want you to remember when men were in black and boys were 2 men. MTV, having become overwhelmed with their invention of entertainment, accidentally invented desperation. Donald Trump just finished hosting Wrestlemania and was about to own the Miss Universe pageants and the impeachment of Bill Clinton lead the way to a bright future for the United States as a kangaroo government.
Do you remember what you were wearing on your bottom half? If it wasn’t one of the following, and it wasn’t a black leather trench coat and a thick layer of human sweat, then you were one unfashionable motherfucker.
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Two quick things before you click that buy button:
1. Today we learned that “JNCO” stands for “Judge None, Choose One” which is as wild as it is incomprehensible. We can’t tell if this is a religious thing or if this is something a renaissance actor might shout at someone who is taking a long time picking out a tabloid in the check out line at a Walmart.
We always assumed it was short for “Jean Co.” and that would have been a super cool story to tell your mom in 1998 when you were selling nearly $200 million of these things (but not in 1999 when you were barely selling $100 million).
2. Someone who wears JNCO jean shorts farted in these.
Your mileage may vary.
Condition: A “line” of wear along right back pocket. No other issues.
I think the big draw to not having to wear unworn pants is that someone else has rubbed down all the edges for you with their bare skin. Fresh clean clothes have that kind of hard edge that’ll cut into your fleshy parts or sometimes they’ve got that dye that’ll leak out all over your clammy thighs all turgid with the anticipation of a couple hours of sitting in one spot and eating Cheetos and rubbing them on yourself.
At $21.99 these are practically a steal.
No they aren’t. Why the fuck are these so expensive?