Act Fast! These Deals Are Hot! (READ: Possibly Stolen)
I realize eBay is supposed to be like wandering up to a garage sale in the parking lot of a Walmart (which is just a larger, more official, in-door garage sale) but we’re pretty suspicious about where these products came from. How do you have just the insides of a radio? Why are there so many broken televisions?
Is it considered theft if you are collecting ghosts in your home-made dolls and then selling them on the internet? Is the grim reaper litigious? Is stealing from the devil a federal crime or do we have to get the UN involved?
So many questions. So many products. Welcome to Catmas Day Eleven.
TWELVE DAYS OF CATMAS – PRESENTED BY CATBAGZ.COM
This faceless wonder is allegedly a 6 disc CD changer. Now I know what you might be asking:
“Why does it look like a stripped down printer?” I don’t know. Have you ever tried putting CDs in your printer? Maybe your printer is a 6 disc CD changer and you never knew it.
“Where did its face go?” Do I look like Ed Gein? Like I keep track of where things faces go? Maybe it comes in a separate shipment. Maybe it broke when it fell off the back of a truck.
“Will this fit in my 1995 Lincoln Continental that is suddenly and mysteriously missing its 6 disc CD player?” I bet it’ll fit like a glove. Do you have the face plate to go in it? Is this your copy of Dexys Midnight Runners 1982 album Too-Rye-Ay with their hit “Come On Eileen“? What a crazy coincidence.
I like to imagine this was stolen from the Cell Phone Museum like it was a major heist. A black Chevy smashed through the front glass and, after a short halfhearted firefight, twelve large men loaded this ten-ton brick phone into the back and they peeled out, not because of how fast they were going but because they needed traction given the additional weight.
Like Oceans Eleven but it takes place in Alabama and is executed by a gang of enterprising meth-wizards.