September 23, 2021
Twelve Days of Catmas - Day Eight - This Season Blows Until It Sucks

Twelve Days of Catmas – Day 8

This Season Blows Until It Sucks

Today we’re featuring something you could really use after the holiday. When you’re done opening your gifts, gobbling your turkey, horfing the ham, and doing whatever it is you do for your regional holiday, turn on the gigantic, mobile suck-vac of your choice and just mulch your dinner into a gross canvas bag.


DAY EIGHT Presents - Twelve Days of Catmas - Day Eight - This leaf blower can also vacuum up the golf ball and the garden hose. WORX WG505 TRIVAC 12 Amp 3-In-1 Electric Blower/Mulcher/Vacuum

Suck the remnants of your holiday cheer until they become a meaty glitter with the WORX TRIVAC 12 AMP 3-IN-1 ELECTRIC BLOWER/MULCHER/VACUUM. Everything else just sucks less. That isn’t their byline but it probably should have been. We’re big fans of number-in-1 products. The bigger the number, the better. Can this compete with the MAXI-MATIC 3-IN-1 MULTI-FUNCTION MOTHERFUCKING BREAKFAST CENTER? Maybe they can team up to become the WORXI-MATIC 6-IN-1 SEVERAL-FUNCTION MOTHERFUCKING BREAKFAST-SUCKING INSURANCE DISASTER. Presents - Twelve Days of Catmas - Day Eight - A backpack vacuum is absolutely necessary for a powerful suck on the go. Milwaukee 0885-20 M18 FUEL 3-in-1 Backpack Vacuum

We’ve seen these in use and there is no way that the non-backpack vacuum should have ever existed. Like, as soon as someone said “You know what sucks most about our vacuums?” and then the laughter died down, someone should have responded with “THE CORD, THE FACT THAT IT HAS TO BE TETHERED TO THE WALL WHILE YOU HAVE TO WANDER AROUND AN OPEN ROOM, THE FUCKING REST OF IT.” followed by some somber reflection..

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