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Inquisitive Carl Investigates: Google Reviews of America

Inquisitive Carl Investigates Google Reviews of America

Its Not All Sunshine and A+++++++++++++ WOULD BUY AGAIN in the Land of Free Speech and Money


Good evening world, Inquisitive Carl here investigating all the things that can have reviews. Just about everyone has seen reviews of Tuscan Whole Milk and The Holy Bible on Amazon, so it comes as a shock to me that we’re lacking in allowing people to leave reviews for countries. Imagine a Yelp for Yemen or a TripAdvisor for Tajikistan or the Better Business Bureau for Burma.

So we batted around the idea of Google Reviews for America and it made some minor sense and I think Ted and Theodore were on board as much as they are on board with anything. So we started collecting some reviews:

George Washington’s Ghost
1,776 Reviews
★★★★★ 228 Years Ago
Would country again.

Chief Sitting Bull
★☆☆☆☆ 128 Years Ago
IT ORIGINALLY CAME SHIPPED IN THREE WOODEN BOXES FROM SPAIN. AFTER ARRIVAL, IT ATE ALL OUR FOOD, GAVE US DISEASES, AND THEN AFTER SITTING IN MY LIVING ROOM FOR YEARS IT KILLED MOST OF MY FAMILY AND MADE ME MOVE INTO THE GARAGE.

LooseAsAGoose73
★★☆☆☆ 3 Months Ago
It was advertised as a ‘Democracy’ but when I received it, the box was marked ‘Representative Republic’. Then, when I opened the box, a bunch of fascists fell out.
I did enjoy the humor of the situation but I am still requesting a refund.

Build That Wall Billy Bianchi
★★★★★ 1 Year Ago
It was absolute hell getting this product if you weren’t given this product when you were born. I had to fill out several forms and learn how the product was originally made. I had to recite names of the makers of the product and then swear fealty to it and promise I would own no other product besides it.
Now I heard people are stealing this product from us. I support building a wall around it and I think Tide should pay for it.

SORGE GEOROS
★☆☆☆☆ 1 Month Ago
THE ECONOMY I RECEIVED IS NOT WHAT WAS PICTURED. I EXPECTED A VERY LARGE AND ROBUST ECONOMY, AND WAS VERY DISAPPOINTED WHEN THE PACKAGE WAS DELIVERED. I AM NOW TOLD THAT THERE ARE NO RETURNS OR EXCHANGES. DO NOT BUY FROM THIS SELLER!
I UNDERSTAND THAT I SHOULD HAVE READ THE PRODUCT DESCRIPTION MORE CAREFULLY, BUT IN MY DEFENSE IT WAS UNNECESSARILY LONG AND VERY DULL. IT WAS ALSO SIGNED BY ALL THE ORIGINAL COMPANY DIRECTORS THAT ARE LONG DEAD AND I FEEL LIKE THAT WAS UNNECESSARY AND A LITTLE SELF SERVING. ALSO IT WAS VERY CONFUSING BECAUSE THE S’s LOOKED LIKE F’s.
Response from the owner 3 Days Ago
THIS IS CLEARLY FROM A FRUSTRATED PRIOR EMPLOYEE GEORGE SOROS. FAKE NEWS.

Patriot Parrot
★★★★★ 3 Months Ago
FREE SHIPPING ISN’T FREE!

What about you fine readers of this modern digital print tabloid media? What would your review of America be? We suggest appending it to this page as a review below.

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