September 22, 2020
When we're feeling particularly lazy, we dredge up old stuff we used to do, like this.

Sunday Rerun-day: Beer Chicken

Like a Throwback Thursday but It’s Not Thursday


We found an old archive – some might say treasure trove but others might say cursed mummy sarcophagus – of posts from a prior iteration of CatBagz. We used to review food but it turns out we hate everything but ranch dressing and Irish nachos so it didn’t get very far. Anyway, enjoy this old thing we called ‘Beer Chicken’.


Chicken cannot be ruined. Ever. It tastes great covered in whatever and only needs to be thoroughly cooked if you intend to survive dinner. Beer chicken is taking this idea to even deeper depths of depravity. To prepare this dish you need:

  • 12 oz. can of beer
  • 1 whole chicken (I like Perdue but really as long as it was actually a chicken during life (and currently dead and prepared for this journey) it should be fine)
  • Spices (I like Roasted Garlic and Bell Pepper but some of us don’t. Read below.)

This is prepared exactly like you prepare a chicken to bake (ex: rotate it and tear out the bag of innards). Then you drink half a can of beer. This makes the later steps easier to deal with (especially the part where your grill bursts into flames. I’m not kidding, get to drinking.) Now stab the top of the beer with a knife to make some holes (do this immediately after drinking the beer before it begins to affect your motor skills). Now put some spices into the can of beer. I prefer a blackened seasoning or a roasted garlic and bell pepper mixture, although my wife apparently hates this but I could make an entire delicious holiday dinner from the things my wife hates. Then you coat the chicken in the same spices and give it a nice rub. Incidentally this is how the pope was prepared before burial. Revel in your holiness.

Ready a baking pan by covering it in a sheet of tin foil. At this time the beer begins to kick in and you will be alright with positioning the beer can in the middle of the baking pan and placing the chicken so that the beer can presents itself up into the chicken’s body cavity. You’ll have to position its sumptuous legs apart so that it can hold itself up. Have a smoke and start the grill. Make sure to remove any kind of secondary shelf from your grill as well, since the chicken will probably take up most of the space inside the grill. Now put the baking sheet with the chicken on the grill and close it and don’t look back.

This is going well.It should take roughly 2 hours to cook (the one cooked today took about an hour and 15 minutes but the grill was at a roaring 600 degrees), and when you periodically look at it (you probably should periodically look at it to reduce the chance of property damage), it may be completely and totally on fire. Or browning well. Or burnt to hell. This is ok, this is what its supposed to do. Drink another beer if this begins to bother you.

It actually still tasted ok.

After 2 hours, it should be vaguely done. Take it out and put it on a surface that won’t immediately catch fire. Wait for the smoldering to extinguish and enjoy!

 

The only way I’ve seen this ruined is for it to be undercooked.

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