But a Cat Bag Can Be Yours For FREE!
That’s right! While the last vestiges of human run democracy (or human run planet earth for that matter) burn to ash around you…
YOU CAN STILL WIN A CAT BAG AT NO CHARGE
Life sometimes gives you lemons. Sometimes, it gives you a house fire. Sometimes, that house fire burns down all your chances for a normal life and leaves you confused about the dark nature of a cruel god.
Sometimes the fire department consists of bumbling weirdos with no capability to stop fires and the unnatural gait and behavior of interstellar extraterrestrial life. It’s as if their father is the fire chief and had to get jobs for his broken and petulant children somewhere and your small town fire department suffers for it.
Regardless, your house fire is about to catch all your neighbors houses on fire and you’re being forced to participate in a Benny Hill-esque Three Stooges fire brigade with a first step of designating who is in charge of the fire brigade and all you can seem to get your neighborhood to agree on is ‘Not That One‘.
Luckily, this November, you’ll finally be saddled with a fire brigade chief who will probably build a wall around the fire or redefine the rules of fire engagement or maybe they’ll just make their own fire in their own house and you’ll get none of it, thank you very much. Then you’ll come begging for that house fire but they won’t give you any and if you so much as think of making your own house fire, you’ll be arrested mister. I mean, if you had a house to set on fire that is.
By the time this is all sorted out, you’ll be lucky if your corrugated steel shack on the outskirts of your apocalyptic style shanty town can even catch fire. You’ll yearn for the day when your house was on fire. You’ll burn tiny effigies of your old house and reminisce about how great it was to run out of there in fear of burning to death.
Also, Britain is still looking at leaving their neighborhood because everyone keeps standing around with torches and Greece is throwing an open pit barbecue in their garage.
Like Einstein said:
I know not with what tinder House Fire II will be burned, but House Fire III will be burned with sticks and stones.