The Results Will Shock You (If You Are Particularly Susceptible to Surprise)
We here at CatBagz Research Institute, a wholly owned subsidiary of International Correspondence School (now a GlaxoSmithKline corporation), have been studying peoples behavior. Not in the creepy, Skinner-esque, “Every Time We Ring a Bell, You Buy a Cat Bag” way. More like “We Barely Understand How the Modern Internet Works, So Lets Make Some Infographics”. You know the ones.
We were going to MapReduce some of our Big Data, then Hadoop our Unstructured Data, but it turns out our “data” fits into a single Excel spreadsheet. A complicated one, let me tell you, but it was pretty easy to understand without having to Internet of Things our toaster.
Without further ado, here are our results:
Ok, we lied. I mean, there was definitely some semblance of scientific data in there. Did you see that percent sign? Did you miss the other one? There were a bunch of numbers but lets get straight to the point: there is a pretty high probability that getting someone a cat bag is going to improve their day.