Pamper Your Krampus With Ample Samples of Mishandled Canvas
The problem with art, the real PROBLEM with it, is that it is so expensive and sometimes the emotions that it evokes are just disgust. I don’t want to have to pay thousands of dollars to look at a painting someone puked up (unrelated to Millie Bobby Brown, seen here concentrating your brain to explode).
Here are some good, cheap, CHEAP, arts for you cheap farts.
TWELVE DAYS OF CATMAS – PRESENTED BY CATBAGZ.COM
DAY TWELVE
Jose Trujillo, unfortunately unrelated to Raphael ‘El Jefe’ Trujillo – Dictator of the Dominican Republic, likes to use a lot of greens and blues and yellows in this nameless piece he is selling for $3.26. He is a starving artist so if you could buy this piece he can live the dream of almost affording a Wendy’s Four-for-Four. This painting evokes the emotion of frustration as your expensive hobby becomes just an expensive hobby and you have to hock the results at much lower prices than you’d expected to a disinterested, faceless audience. Figuratively an oil-painting version of this website. |
We call this Picture-in-Picture because I think the trademark on that dumb invention of the 90’s expired. In the pictured picture, a woman holding a rosary seems vaguely interested in escaping the drudgery of being stuck in a painting like a Harry Potter extra. In the picture, a dumb bird doesn’t know when a haunted painting is about to attack. Not pictured is the $7.49 price tag. Also, it kind of looks like someone tried to catch a spider crawling on this with a cup. Do paintings crack like glass when you escape them? The painting represents the pain of artistry and how hard it is to draw lady hips without making it look like they’re a giant bowling ball. Also birds, how many toes they got? |
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