Inquisitive Carl Introduces You To Our Inaugural ‘Oh Well Wednesday’
You had Oh Well Wednesdays before. You became so apathetic you just didn’t realize it. Let us describe an Oh Well Wednesday:
You are walking briskly through your office setting, or maybe its just a job site, whatever. You have a drink in your hand and you hear the boss man say that everything that has been done so far this year has been a total waste of effort and instead we’ll need to flip everything upside down. Graphics, airplane engines, houses, you name it. Whatever it is, it is upside down now. You know this is totally wrong because that means the bacon grease will pool around the light fixtures and start a huge fire or that all your text in the Facebook ad you are running will be illegible.
OH WELL. Customers are gonna have to stock up on fire extinguishers and browse the internet in the ass-over-teakettle position in their gravity chair.
You just got off a lengthy red-eye flight to New York on a business trip. Management says it’s where all the people who know everything about anything are because they make so much money and we need to be near them to be successful. It is some kind of contact high for capitalists. When you reach your hotel you realize your suitcase has been swapped with an obviously older woman’s attaché case.
OH WELL. Guess I’m wearing a blouse to a corporate event.
You and three of your sons, Jonathan, Abinadab, and Malkishua (you relented and let your wife name that one; she said it was a family name), go on a horse ride around Mount Gilboa. Some of those yuppie Philistines start giving you some crap about moving into your neighborhood and all. You engage in some straight up desert warfare with them and one of those dorks buries an axe in your skull.
OH WELL. Fine, have Jerusalem. It is a big dumb sandy hole anyway.
So what makes today an Oh Well Wednesday?
Imagine this. You find some really neat bags while you are scouring manufacturers for unique and interesting products to hock on the internet. These bags have cat faces on them, and can hold things like cabbages and cell phones and wads of official currency minted by the United States of America. You figure you can toss up an e-commerce site, retch up some weirdo blog stories, and price these things like they’re going out of style (which they can’t – cat bags are eternal). Turns out, China is also doing the same thing and, if one can stomach the chance of getting totally scammed, they will undercut you at the earliest convenience.
OH WELL. I guess I’m caught in an eternal struggle with a foreign country now. Who isn’t?
What makes this YOUR Oh Well Wednesday?