October 16, 2021
Body Like A Backhoe, Driving Through My Asshole...

Body Like A Backhoe… And Several Other Songs Which Confused Us

We Examine Some Pop Song Lyrics That We Didn’t Understand On The First Go Around

Body Like A Back Hoe – Driving Through My Asshole

– Sam Hunt

So, clearly, Sam Hunt (I had to make sure this name wasn’t a phone prank) has some issues with construction equipment or, potentially, the rigid lifting power of his significant other.

Turns out, he is just complimenting someone on their similarity to a back country road – long, winding stretches of gravel with independent vegetable stands that don’t take credit. Is he closing his eyes because of the familiarity of the route, or because he is pass-out drunk and about to end up in a comical fence-disaster like in the 1991 classic Doc Hollywood?

Those Kinds Of Lobsters Ain’t For Us, We Drive A Different Kind Of Bus

– Lorde

We figured this fit the theme of the song since appears to be denouncing consumerism or just judging people for poor financial decisions. I don’t know what kind of “other bus” Lorde drives, but not the kind you ride in, you Cristal-swizzling, diamond-timepiece-encrusted, jetplane-flying, tiger-having(?), bourgeoisie pig.

I’m still not sure what kind of buzz Lorde is craving, or what luxe is for her, but she likes counting her money on public transit and spends her nights dreaming of driving Cadillacs, so she sounds like a real fucking piece of work.

Ooooh, I’ll Build A Ship For You

Ooh, ooh, Try to do what lovers do (ooh)

– Maroon 5

Maroon 5 might just be new to love and they’re really trying hard to figure out what lovers do, like building an entire sailing vessel for their love interest. We chock this one up to youthful blunders like that time we tried to get a date to the prom by “accidentally” rubbing into people as we pass them in the hall. Incidentally, this is what gets you uninvited to prom.

The actual song appears to just be moans and groans of a person desperately trying to do what lovers do, so maybe it was left up to our interpretation. The lyrics for this part are actually:

Ooh, ooh ooh ooh been wishin’ for you
Ooh, ooh
Tryna do what lovers do ooh

If you showed up with a boat in a fucking bottle, painstakingly constructed with your bare fucking hands, I’d love it a lot more than the musical equivalent of praying for me.

This Is My Boat Song, I Like To Boat Long – Rachel Platten

We know this isn’t the lyrics but when you start a song with a verse about a boat I make some wild ass assumptions that the entire song is about boating.

This is my boat song
I like to boat long
Put away my boat bong
My outboards turned on
Starting right now I’ll float strong
I’ll play my boat song

Otherwise its just another Taylor-Swift-Katy-Perry sound-alike about your shit and both me and Lorde think your shits ain’t for us.

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