September 23, 2021
Drunk cat is thinking about stuff and takes it to the modern streets - general internet searching.

You’re Officially On Drunk Cats Time

What will our future generations think of right now? I don’t know, probably bad stuff?

I’m having difficulty operating this thing tonight. Its got some new keys to it. Like, they click and stuff. Its bad.

Real bad.

Let me tell you about the world through the eyes of a child. What do children do? Google stuff. Lets start with this stuff (once I remember how to embed images):

Whats up with the world? Drunk cats got it figured out.

Alright, we got some quotes there. One from Jack Lalanne, known for tuggin’ boats. I think with his nipples? Maybe that was someone else. Then we got good ol’ Carl Hiaasen. He writes novels about Florida. Thats a thing. Doesn’t involve eating peoples faces, so they must be straight fiction.

Then theres something about Brexit, a cosplayer, a couple pictures involving Donald Trump, and, like, Bruce Jenner and stuff.

Ok, this isn’t very insightful. Moving right along. Lets ask Bing, the search engine for perverts. Roll them dice!

Whats up with the world? Bing proceeds to disturb.

Alright, we got uh – some sharks in disturbing situations, a picture of Einstein with a lengthy quote he probably didn’t say, a bank note, a tsunami, and some maps. Good job. I guess its confused because usually at this time of the night on a Friday I’m asking ‘Whats Ted Cruz up to?’ and I get the same result.

Lets delve deep. Real deep. Like Deep Roy Deep.

Why are we talking about Deep Roy? Why the hell not? Click an ad, it'll pay for my liquor.

Like AltaVista deep! SPIN! THAT! WHEEL!

What the world is up to, Alta Vista style. I'm pretty sure they're cheating off of Bing.

Come on Alta Vista. What is this? More Einstein quotes, some dudes kissing, but I’m pretty sure you’re just cheating off of Bing there. What is this. Come on internet.

Show me the money.

Gimme the gold.

Show me what is really up in the world today.

And a one, and a two, and a one, two, three, AOL SEARCH, SOMETHING I DIDN’T KNOW EXISTED!

People, liquor, and Hitler. This is the raw deal. This is what is up today.

People, liquor, and Hitler. I’ll take it.

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