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Bellyrubs

Bellyrubs

This Guy Likes Bellyrubs

You know what I like?
Bellyrubs.
I like to sidle right on up to you and get my purrs on. Roll around and squirm until I get that half-assed belly touch you do when you’re busy reading or eating or watching something on your television. Then that just keeps up while I get all comfortable and you get all engrossed in several shades of Netflix or presidential debate garbage.
BITE
No no it was nothing I was just… maybe you pet the wrong part of me. You know I don’t like it when you do that but now I’m back to purring and your hand is kinda still in pain but it’s going away. Besides here comes the pivotal part when Abe Vigoda (may he rest in peace) is telling the cast of Cheers about his disastrous marriage or something.
It’s pretty funny and you’re laughing and back to rubbing my belly which is perfect. Life is perfect and I’m back to purring and stretching out and you’re back to looking at your phone or talking on it or whatever.
BITE WITH CLAW ACTION
What happen? Why did you make that noise? I’m all backed into a corner wide-eyed with my back arched because it looks like you’re gonna hit me but I’m innocent in this matter. I didn’t ask for this. You’re looking all pissy at my innocent child-like eyes. Also did you just remember that my cat litter box is full because you didn’t clean it last night like you usually do? Well just go back to what you were doing and maybe I’ll look interested in it. Maybe I’ll make snide comments like “Daniel Day Lewis? Guy hasn’t had a solid job since Last of the Mohicans. It was definitely his last of something.” Anyway we’re back to doodling in your adult coloring book or like trying to pay bills on your laptop and I’m just sorta rolled up next to you running the ol’ purr machine and twisting around so that my belly is showing but so is my back like some kind of insane squid. We chill for a bit and your hand sorta reaches down and rubs my belly again which is so awesome of you to do.
BITE. CLAW. JET OUT OF THE ROOM.
I love belly rubs.

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