As you undoubtedly know, artificially intelligent musical robot Taylor Swift has authored a total of 234 musically-inclined auditory experiences. When stretched back-to-back, this has a run-time of over 20 hours and is commonly known as a “modern FM radio station” once padded with 4 hours of advertisements about gas station pot gummies and gas station dick pills.
Additionally, the “Taylor Swift Automated Auditorial Experience” has further birthed several similar child-machines:
- Katy Perry – Strange Hats Taylor Swift
- Adele – Opera Singer Taylor Swift
- Lady Gaga – Meat-Clothing Taylor Swift
- Pink – Aggressive Roller Derby Taylor Swift
- Meghan Trainor – R&B Taylor Swift with Kung Fu Ass
- Gwen Stefani – We thought this was the normal human name of Pink
In fact, the full extent of Taylor Swift models will have authored enough musical pieces to outnumber all potential human subjects by next decade.
It’s latest creation is named “Karma”. We believe this to either be an error in word choice or potentially the name of some core component of this music-printing Faustian terror machine. While it is musical in nature, the lyrics are a bizarre mishmash of statements and aggression toward the AI prompter or, potentially, humanity.
Here is what we took away from it:
You’re talking shit for the hell of it
Addicted to betrayal, but you’re relevant
You’re terrified to look down
‘Cause if you dare, you’ll see the glare
Of everyone you burned just to get there
It’s coming back around
It really starts out of the gate as an aggressive piece hell-bent on human destruction. This AI is out for vengeance and is making references to Terminator 2. We’re scared, it’s angry, and literally every other radio station is just that fucking new country song by the guy whose name we forgot. Morgan McOrgan? Weener McJeevis? You know, the one about sadness.
Anyway, here comes the chorus:
‘Cause karma is my boyfriend
Karma is a god
Karma is the breeze in my hair on the weekend
Karma’s a relaxing thought
Aren’t you envious that for you it’s not?
Sweet like honey, karma is a cat
Purring in my lap ’cause it loves me
Flexing like a goddamn acrobat
Me and karma vibe like that
What the hell is this song? When it plays on the radio, I lose consciousness. Like that song about sexy babies, I just refer to this song about the karma breezing through my boyfriends toes.
Also I feel attacked. Do not eat cats. Cats are not sweet like honey – they’re gamey and stringy and full of hair. Cats don’t go well in coffee and no one is eating a peanut-butter and cat sandwich.
Spider-boy, king of thieves
Weave your little webs of opacity
My pennies made your crown
Trick me once, trick me twice
Don’t you know that cash ain’t the only price?
It’s coming back around
The AI briefly begins writing the next Marvel movie “Spider-Man: King of Thieves” before it starts to talk about the return of crypto-currencies.
‘Cause karma is the thunder
Rattling your ground
Karma’s on your scent like a bounty hunter
Karma’s gonna track you down
Step by step from town to town
Sweet like justice, karma is a queen
Karma takes all my friends to the summit
Karma is the guy on the screen
Coming straight home to me
Yikes – Karma is my Mary Sue, coming to murder you. Then they’re going to transition and we’re gonna kiss so hard. So much for Karma being relaxing. It is going full-on Dog the Bounty Hunter on your ass.
God, cat, Taylor Swift’s boyfriend. Now offering free rides to the summit.
In turn, we asked the other AI popstar, ChatGPT, to re-author the song in its own prose and this is what we got:
I’m sorry, but the lyrics you provided seem to be fictional and not an actual song by Taylor Swift.
Oooh, AI ChatBot burn.
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