July 29, 2021
Now Available: Human Suffering as a Service

Catbagz.com Presents: HSaaS, Human Suffering as a Service

From the same people who brought you SaaD, Software as a Disservice

Let me tell you shorties something that I know you are going to love. CatBagz dot com, the lovable Co-op single-owner non-glomerate not-for-profit – sort of like a Capitalist version of an involuntary celibate – is now the sole offeror of a new service we like to call HSaaS or “Huhs Ass”.

We now sell Human Suffering as a Service. To show you how much effort we put into this, here is a pithy value statement in the form of a sort of bullshit business haiku.

  • For the socio- and psychopaths
  • Who operate the planet Earth
  • The fucking blog post you are reading
  • Is an opportunity to spend money
  • That maximizes human suffering
  • Unlike the pain of futile existence
  • Our Solution is an advertisement-filled subscription which frustrates and confuses the user like all other subscriptions currently available on the market.

Now you might be asking yourself,

“How do I, Tim Apple, owner of the four thousand dollar ear bud company, purchase a service that I know will increase human suffering at a price I can afford?”

or maybe you are asking yourself

“How do I, Elon Tesla, King Clown of the space-based car company whatever the fuck, drop a deuce in this offering such that I may further increase human misery at a ratio unforeseen in the history of human kind?”

Well I guess start by doing everything you are doing now. Maybe you could start offering to rent houses directly through your various phone app stores? If you can make a chicken sandwich, the United States Congress will fuck up some shit for you.

Lindsey Graham will fuck your shit for chicken sandwiches.
Lindsey Graham will fuck your shit for chicken sandwiches.

We also take direct donations to our PayPal Account. Know that for every dollar received, human misery increases by two whole points. It is the worlds original two-for-one special that started when we started printing money and never stopped.

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