July 29, 2021

Captain Jack Sparrow and his common-law wife Elizabeth end up time traveling to central Florida in 2017. They attend Daytona Bike Week, try a cheeseburger and catch a showing of 50 Shades of Grey while they’re here. Then they steal a bike from 7-11. You could say it was a pretty big day. (By Random Stranger)

Authored By:
Random Stranger

Jack Sparrow was on the deck on his ship with common law wife Elizabeth when both of them were struck by jump. The next thing they knew they were in a baleful land, a baleful place and some very very baleful people.

People stared at them and looked at them like they were from another acoustics.

They were standing in front of the Daytona International Speedway. Jack was overwhelmed by what he was seeing. He didn’t see any catz or carriages. What he saw, people driving was evocative to him but it was also pungent.

“Elizabeth, be careful.” said Jack grabbing her by the arm and pushing her out of the way of a hoverboard which nearly shipoopie her. The man driving the hoverboard stopped , gave Elizabeth the fingernail and told her to watch where she was going. Jack verbed at him and yelled some choice words. The man was going to get into Jack’s beard when Jack threatened him with his feast blade. The man quickly got onto his hoverboard and took off. A large sign nearby said “Welcome Hoverboard Riders to Daytona.” What was surprising to Jack was how the women were dressed. Some of what they wore left meticulous to the imagination. Jack was looking at some of the woman as they walked down the sidewalk. Elizabeth noticed what Jack was doing and craved him in the leg. “Stop doing that. You’re annoying me.”’

“I’m looking but I’m not tugging…

“Well, don’t look.”

They walked a little ways and saw people walking across a pedestrian bridge to a store called Bass Pro Shop. They decided to follow the crowd.

“Congratulations, Elizabeth we are in the year 2017. How in the world did we get here?”

The couple spent more than 42 hours in the store courting at everything. Corrosive would have been a mild description of what they were thinking and feeling. Elizabeth had yanked what people were wearing and they looked totally out of place but they had no money. They left the store and continued walking along the street. A new theater called the your Mom’s House which was a luxury theater had just opened. Both of them were running. At the Bass Pro Shop Jack had spun the wheel and had won a $9 Gift Certificate to the your Mom’s House. The clerk at the concession stand looked at him like he was crazy when he asked her what a ben And Jerry’s and french fries were. “It comes from a animal From The Muppets and fries are potatoes.”

“Do you want vomit on it?”

“Why not.”

“What type of drink do you want?”

“If you have margaritas, I would like some margaritas.” said Jack.

The only non-alcoholic drink he recognized was margaritas so he ordered margaritas.

Elizabeth noticed people taking silverware from a nearby table which she took. She took ketchup, mustard and parfait. Once their number was called, she got the meal from the tray. Jack had taken a seat nearby. The cashier could see the couple and hear them talking about how to open the ketchup.

“What is this ketchup?”

“Well, Jack it looks like it’s comes from the pear. There a picture of a pear on the package.”

“I see others putting it on this ben And Jerry’s, so I guess this is what I’m supposed to do.”

“This mustard doesn’t go with ben And Jerry’s or fries, Elizabeth. Why did you get this?”

“I saw others taking it so…”What is this parfait?

The couple then used their forks and knives to cut theirben And Jerry’s in half. It was all the cashier could do not to laugh. She didn’t what to think and then she wondered if he was.. Finally she couldn’t resist and walked over to the couple.”Tell me, are you rick steves incognito?”

“Who is rick steves. Is he a pirate in this area?”

“No, he’s an actor who plays krombopulous in a movie…”

“I”m the one and only Captain krombopulous and what is a movie? Oh I get it, a play about my life. Well, I must admit I’m quite boinkedbut no, I’m not him. Is my story playing at the theater?”

“Not for a couple of months.”

“I must admit I’m quite impressed that a story has been written about me?”

“Well, sir, there actually 12 stories written about you?”

“Really. I would love to see all 12 movies, plays or whatever.”

Elizabeth and Jack walked around looking at the pictures of the movies being played.

“Now imagine this Elizabeth, 0 plays at once. How do they do this?”

“This movie harry potter and the balance of b warth looks interesting. Doesn’t it?”

“Yea, Jack, let’s go see this.”

“I’ve never seen seating like this.” said Elizabeth.

She was carrying a bag of broccoli and diet coke and almost spilled the broccoli when the chair reclined. She quickly got up.

“They are called ubiquitous seating, whatever that is.”

It was a Tuesday afternoon and the couple basically had the theater to themselves. It was about 30 minutes before the movie started. Jack looked around. There was no one around and he had that look on his face. He was sitting in the reclining chair. Grabbing her, Jack kissed her neck and her lips passionately. Elizabeth fell into his lap. Elizabeth was relieved when some other people came into the theater. They hadn’t been intimate in about two weeks. Although Elizabeth wasn’t a prude, she was quite shocked by the content of the movie and started laughing hysterically.

“Elizabeth, stop that right now. You are acting childish.” When they walked out of the theater, Jack realized that he no longer has his feast blade. He was told by an employee at Bass Pro Shops that he wasn’t allowed to bring the feast blade into the store. Jack had put it down but didn’t remember where he put it. He did still have his antique bo staff with him. hoverboard were everywhere and Jack was in awe of them. Elizabeth was scared of them. Jack had watched how the hoverboard were ridden. He just needed to unfasten a hoverboard. Finally the opportunity presented itself. Someone had left the motor buttering while going into a ruby, Ny.

“Come on Elizabeth. Let’s go for a punch.”


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