Welcome Back, Ghoulies and Droolies, to the CatBagz.com Bleak Friday Sell-A-Thon
Are you still yearning for Halloween but you’re stuck SKELETON DEEP in the indecision that comes with this years Black Friday holiday shopping season? Are you trying to find the best price on that DREADFUL set of golden bullshit necklaces you are trying to purchase for the HAUNTINGLY AWFUL step-woman in your life? Instead of attending some GOD FORSAKEN Black Friday sale, can we at CatBagz.com invite you to participate in the CATBAGZ.COM BLEAK FRIDAY SELL-A-THON!
THUNDER CLAP! LIGHTNING!
SCABIES and GERMtlemen, I present to you:
Do you need a pair of testicles like what surely adorns your Ford F-150 Fuck Truck or whatever the redneck version of a Shaggin’ Wagon might be? They come in a variety of colors including:
Putrid Pink
Ghastly Green
Bothersome Black
Ghoulish Glow-in-the-Dark Blue
Realize these nefarious gonads are referred to as “Croc Balls” and not the obvious “Croc Nuts”. CatBagz.com Legal has assured us this was done to avoid BONE CHILLING copyright infringement on the HAIR-RAISING name “Truck Nuts”.
Do you consider your body’s DEBILITATING inability to process sugar a MACABRE fashion statement? EBAY thinks you should. This is truly a CATBAGZ.COM BLEAK FRIDAY DEEP CUT! BLOOD (testing devices)! STAB yourself to determine if you need STARTLING medical attention!
Did you AUDACIOUSLY STEAL this god awful looking purse from your grandmother’s CRYPT like some kind of FASHION GREMLIN? At a $1,795 price tag, one can only imagine the SPOOKY time you’ll have repaying this ten bucks at a time through THRILLING new post-purchase payment plans.
We looked up Hobo Nickles ONE SINGLE FUCKING TIME on Wish and now almost 80% of our ads and search results are pornographic money. This precious little Bender Hobo Nickle is tame compared to the ABSOLUTELY FRUSTRATINGLY COMMON nude anime women that adorn our every website visit. SPINE CHILLING!
What even IS this? Is it actually fungible? It looks kind of fungible. We tried our hand at selling a Non-Non-Fungible Non-Token and both CREEPILY and AS EXPECTED nobody wanted to buy it. Use this chance to enter the HIGHLY CONCERNING and POTENTIALLY FRAUDULENT world of digital collectibles! Step up in the club, take me to my reserved seat!
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